This is a story of a transformational shift that has been taking place over over many years of my life, and now decades. A shift that does not become undone. I would only imagine that there have been experiences in your life where you know absolutely for sure that you have in some way become a different person. For me, nothing could be more beautiful, awakening, empowering and tapping into such rich realms within myself than all that I have come to see as an inner knowing by way of intense grieving. I know it might sound strange, but I can only describe my outcome of grieving as an inner “elation”. A sheer sense of freedom. A type of pure joy and connection with all that exists - people, my environment and beyond; the nature of life, consciousness, awarenesses within observation, and believe it or not, a notion of eternity.
Reflecting on causation of my unbearable grief, existed a belief that my episodes of uncontrollable crying as sobbing, was the loss of a marriage and all that was attached to this. But I have over years come to see that these thoughts and beliefs were only symptomatic of deeply embedded traumas. Clearly defined now, it was my partner in marriage who was my spirit guide as a blessing for me having to come face to face with walking into the fire of identifying these deep roots of past experiences.