1. The Dangers and Pitfalls of Our Cultural-Based, “Isolate and Grieve Alone”
Within our vast offerings of From Grief To Relief - A Passage Into Heart, grieving and associated crying or sobbing is never in any way considered a “breakdown”. Throughout our program, you will be nurtured in exploring and experiencing grieving as a break through! And within this, resides the beauty and magnificence of A Passage Into Heart !
Thank you for signing up for our free Grief Relief Insights series. We are honored for this opportunity in assisting you along your path of discovering relief within your experiences of grief. We would like to emphasize that grief, however temporal within your life, is a journey to be embraced as a great and wise teacher. At various points and stages of life, it is nearly invariable that we will all be confronted with various aspects of grief. At From Grief to Relief - A Passage into Heart, we gently yet dutifully question how we have been taught “to deal with” our sad and painful emotions! Within sad and painful emotions, we are generally taught in one form or another that isolating ourselves is the expected and most accepted behavior.
From very early on, you might have experienced - “If you’re going to cry, go to your room.” “Quit crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” “Big boys don’t cry.” "Big girls don’t cry. These are powerful messages teaching us that crying in public is inappropriate. This may very well lead to repressing crucially significant emotions that are yearning and needing to flow free! Sadly, a debilitating consequence often results as isolating oneself within grief. By way of cultural adaptation, we then learn to repress our emotions in a complexity of various internal modes and methods.
Rahjta and I, although in definitively different ways, have experienced dramatic transformational losses in our lives. Both journeys into grief have held profound opportunities for discovering what has lead to and nourished joy-filled inspirations throughout the development of From Grief To Relief - A Passage Into Heart. My most devastating grief has resulted from the death of my youngest child Craig. He passed from this world at age 10 due to a blood infection that he developed after intense chemotherapy for leukemia. When Craig died it was an inexpressible experience in feeling completely shattered and broken. The pain I felt was unimaginable. I realized immediately that if I was left to grieve alone within this experience, I would not be able to survive. Thankfully, early on in this process, I received the wonderful gift of heartfelt love, compassion and empathy from my dear friend Bonnie. Her inherent insight was the gift of sitting with me, crying with me and just listening to my emotions without imparting any advice or telling me how I should grieve. This healed my heart more than anything. I no longer had to grieve alone!
A Grief Relief Exercise:
Are you living with unexpressed emotions that are causing emotional pain and suffering? You might experience great results in seeking out a sincere friend who will listen lovingly and attentively. A type of friend who will not try to “fix” things for you with intellectual advice. If you need to, ask that person to please just hear you out and listen from their heart. You may come to feel much better in a short time from this simple yet powerful connection. This can also be seeds of growth for deepening your bond within the friendship. All in new and beautiful ways! Similar to removing a dam from a river so that the mighty power of the water will flow free, once the energy of emotion has been expressed without any obstruction, life begins to flow better for us. The degree to which we are alien to a mind and heart of compassion allowing an unimpeded empathy void of attentiveness, may very well equal the degree to which we may experience a distorted notion of, isolate and grieve alone. - Should there exist any lack of insight and understanding as to the vastness of grieving, there will then be a presence of awkwardness, uneasiness, embarrassment and even self-consciousness when encountering someone expressing the depths of their heart-wrenching emotional pain. This may very well intensify to a point where our emotional pain reveals itself as unbearable.